Quote:
{2:216} Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And God Knows, while you know not.
I'd only change "you know not" to "you do not know."
Quote:
{2:217} They ask you about the sacred month - about fighting therein. Say, "Fighting therein is great [sin], but averting [people] from the way of God and disbelief in Him and [preventing access to] al-Masjid al-Haram and the expulsion of its people therefrom are greater [evil] in the sight of God. And fitnah is greater than killing." And they will continue to fight you until they turn you back from your religion if they are able. And whoever of you reverts from his religion [to disbelief] and dies while he is a disbeliever - for those, their deeds have become worthless in this world and the Hereafter, and those are the companions of the Fire, they will abide therein eternally.
We discussed before that it is unnecessary to leave words transliterated, especially if no explanatory notes are provided. How can the English speaker understand them then? I suggest "The Sacrosanct Mosque" to translate "al-Masjid al-Haram" and "religious persecution" to translate "fitna."
"Reverts" is a technically correct translation of
يرتد but it is widely used to mean "comes home," so it has a positive connotation while the verse is speaking of a negative action. I suggest "apostates."
Finally, we discussed the translation of
حبطت in another post and found that "sank" is a better translation than "has become worthless," so I suggest "their deeds have sunk..." instead of "their deeds have become worthless."