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 Post subject: Verses 20:65-69
PostPosted: 05 Jun 2009, 10:51 
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Suggested translation1,2:


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1This translation may have been updated from the original suggested translation as a result of the discussions that follow.
2Click on the {verse number} of a translation to see other good translations of the verse.

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 Post subject: Re: Verses 20:65-69
PostPosted: 22 Jun 2009, 05:25 
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Quote:
{20:67} So he sensed within himself apprehension, Moses did.

{20:68} God said, "Fear not. Indeed, it is you who are superior.

The way the delayed subject in the the Arabic text of 20:67 was translated as the clause "Moses did" is great.

I would use a straight "sensed within himself a fear" instead of apprehension. It seems to me that apprehension was an attempt to capture a bit of the the Arabic verb "awjasa" which reflects both sensing and apprehension, but I think having the object "a fear" serves that purpose, too. It also combines better with "Fear not" in 20:68.

I would use "We said" or "We [God] said" instead of "God said." Also, instead of "superior," I would use "the higher" as a straightforward translation. Not sure about "it is you who are" versus "it is you who is."

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 Post subject: Re: Verses 20:65-69
PostPosted: 22 Jun 2009, 05:55 
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Good points. So, we can suggest these translations:

{20:67} So he sensed in himself fear, Moses did.
{20:68} We said, "Do not fear; you [have] the upper [hand]."

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 Post subject: Re: Verses 20:65-69
PostPosted: 29 Jun 2009, 08:50 
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Linguistic wrote:
Good points. So, we can suggest these translations:
{20:67} So he sensed in himself fear, Moses did.
{20:68} We said, "Do not fear; you [have] the upper [hand]."

Two remarks:

1. If "a fear" is a legitimate expression in English, it will be a more accurate translation in 20:67 than just "fear." The word "kheefah" in this context is a "once-noun" (issm marra), thus meaning a fear. The same word can be used in other contexts to mean for fear of or as a "form-noun" (issm hay'aa) to mean the type of fear of.

2. In 20:68, part of the meaning is lost if we don't say something like "it is you who [have] the upper hand."

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 Post subject: Re: Verses 20:65-69
PostPosted: 10 Feb 2010, 17:56 
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Pragmatic wrote:
Two remarks:

1. If "a fear" is a legitimate expression in English, it will be a more accurate translation in 20:67 than just "fear." The word "kheefah" in this context is a "once-noun" (issm marra), thus meaning a fear. The same word can be used in other contexts to mean for fear of or as a "form-noun" (issm hay'aa) to mean the type of fear of.

2. In 20:68, part of the meaning is lost if we don't say something like "it is you who [have] the upper hand."

Both are good points, so let's suggest the following,

{20:67} So he sensed in himself a fear, Moses did.
{20:68} We said, "Do not fear; verily, [it is] you [who has] the upper [hand]."

Also,
Quote:
{20:69} And throw what is in your right hand; it will swallow up what they have crafted. What they have crafted is but the trick of a magician, and the magician will not succeed wherever he is."

is an excellent translation.

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 Post subject: Suggested translation
PostPosted: 28 Feb 2010, 03:22 
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{20:67} So he sensed in himself a fear, Moses did.

{20:68} We said, "Do not fear; verily, [it is] you [who has] the upper [hand]."

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