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 Post subject: Verses 11:28-30
PostPosted: 06 Jun 2009, 08:01 
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Suggested translation1,2:


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1This translation may have been updated from the original suggested translation as a result of the discussions that follow.
2Click on the {verse number} of a translation to see other good translations of the verse.

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 Post subject: Re: Verses 11:28-30
PostPosted: 11 Jul 2009, 03:27 
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Quote:
{11:28} He said, "O my people have you considered: if I should be upon clear evidence from my Lord while He has given me mercy from Himself but it has been made unapparent to you, should we force it upon you while you are averse to it?

I'd only change "while" to "and."

Quote:
{11:29} And O my people, I ask not of you for it any wealth. My reward is not but from God. And I am not one to drive away those who have believed. Indeed, they will meet their Lord, but I see that you are a people behaving ignorantly.

I think it's proper English to say "My reward is but from God," isn't it?

I think Pickthall's translation of "قوما تجهلون" is best: "a folk who are ignorant."

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 Post subject: Re: Verses 11:28-30
PostPosted: 13 Jul 2009, 11:47 
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Linguistic wrote:
Quote:
{11:28} He said, "O my people have you considered: if I should be upon clear evidence from my Lord while He has given me mercy from Himself but it has been made unapparent to you, should we force it upon you while you are averse to it?

I'd only change "while" to "and."

I am curious why? It seems to me that the use of wa in this context means "while." What I would change is "but it has been" to "then it was." I am not happy with "made unapparent" though.

Quote:
Quote:
{11:29} And O my people, I ask not of you for it any wealth. My reward is not but from God. And I am not one to drive away those who have believed. Indeed, they will meet their Lord, but I see that you are a people behaving ignorantly.

I think it's proper English to say "My reward is but from God," isn't it?
I think Pickthall's translation of "قوما تجهلون" is best: "a folk who are ignorant."

Totally agree about "My reward is but from God." I also agree with "a folk who are ignorant" although I find "are" to be strange after "a folk," but it may be just my limitations in English :).

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 Post subject: Re: Verses 11:28-30
PostPosted: 13 Jul 2009, 20:21 
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Pragmatic wrote:
Linguistic wrote:
Quote:
{11:28} He said, "O my people have you considered: if I should be upon clear evidence from my Lord while He has given me mercy from Himself but it has been made unapparent to you, should we force it upon you while you are averse to it?

I'd only change "while" to "and."

I am curious why? It seems to me that the use of wa in this context means "while." What I would change is "but it has been" to "then it was." I am not happy with "made unapparent" though.

Just being consistent with the method of this project, i.e., direct translation whenever possible. "While" translates بينما, so if the و in وآتاني can be translated "and" or "while", I'd choose "and" because it's the more direct translation.

I agree with you regarding "then it was" and with "made unapparent."

So, I propose the following,
{11:28} He said, "O my people have you considered if I should be upon clear evidence from my Lord and He has given me mercy from Himself then it was obscured from you, should we force it upon you while you are averse to it?"
{11:29} "And O my people, I do not ask of you for it any wealth. My reward is but from God. And I am not one to drive away those who have believed. Indeed, they are going to meet their Lord, but I see that you are a folk who are ignorant."

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 Post subject: Re: Verses 11:28-30
PostPosted: 14 Jul 2009, 04:31 
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Linguistic wrote:
Just being consistent with the method of this project, i.e., direct translation whenever possible. "While" translates بينما, so if the و in وآتاني can be translated "and" or "while", I'd choose "and" because it's the more direct translation.

Sorry, Linguistic, but I confused the first "while" with the second "while" in the original translation of 11:28. My comments were about the second "while." I totally agree that the first "while" should be an "and" instead.

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